A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why? Of course!" comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man, I graduated in '62. This is unbelievable!, the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender. "Nothing much...", replies the bartender, "...the twins are drunk again!"
A priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk were talking about how they paid themselves every week after the worshippers donated to the temple, church etc.
The Priest: "I have a good method. I draw a circle on the ground, step in the middle and throw all the donated money up on the air. With the grace of God whatever falls in the circle is my salary and outside belongs to the church."
The monk: "How interesting, I almost do the same thing. But I believe what falls within the circle belongs to the monastery and outside is mine."
The rabbi chimes in: "Oh my God, we all think alike. I do the same thing. I draw a circle, get in the middle of it and throw all the donations in the air. What stays up in the air belongs to the temple and what falls on the ground is mine!"
A man and his friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man!"
The man then replies: "Well you know, we were married for 35 years!"
An Italian calls his friend in Siberia.
Italian: "How are you?"
Friend: "I'm fine, it's just a bit cold here!"
Italian: "Oh yea, on TV they said there are -40° at your place!"
Friend: "No no, we have -10° here."
Italian: "I'm sure they said it's -40°!"
Friend: "Ah okay. They must be talking about outdoor temperature!"