Such Quality! Wow!

such joke

Two men meet in a bar

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why? Of course!" comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man, I graduated in '62. This is unbelievable!, the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender. "Nothing much...", replies the bartender, "...the twins are drunk again!"

Priest, Rabbi and Buddhist monk

A priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk were talking about how they paid themselves every week after the worshippers donated to the temple, church etc.
The Priest: "I have a good method. I draw a circle on the ground, step in the middle and throw all the donated money up on the air. With the grace of God whatever falls in the circle is my salary and outside belongs to the church."
The monk: "How interesting, I almost do the same thing. But I believe what falls within the circle belongs to the monastery and outside is mine."
The rabbi chimes in: "Oh my God, we all think alike. I do the same thing. I draw a circle, get in the middle of it and throw all the donations in the air. What stays up in the air belongs to the temple and what falls on the ground is mine!"

Three men arrive in hell

A Mexican, a Russian and a Frenchman arrive in hell when the devil appears in front of them. He says that to get out of hell, they must each complete three tasks: make love to a woman 100 times, kill a bear, and drink 100 shots of tequila.
The Frenchman, being French, decides to start with making love to the woman 100 times. He starts out well, but after a few hours he is too exhausted to complete the task and is thrown into lava.
The Russian, being Russian, decides to kill the bear first. Almost as soon as he enters the arena he is mauled to death.
The Mexican, being Mexican, decides to drink the 100 shots of tequila first. After downing the last one, he stumbles off to kill the bear.
Several hours later, he returns to Satan and says: "So where is this woman I have to kill?"

Category: Nations • 2 Nov 2017 • by pilot

Bear, Rabbit and the Fairy

The bear and the rabbit walk through the forest. Out of a sudden, a fairy appears and grants them three wishes each.

The bear thinks for a few seconds and says: "I wish that all bears in this forest were female!". The fairy performs a magic spell and the bear's wish comes true. The rabbit then wishes for a fast motorbike.

The bear, amazed by his first wish, wished that all bears in the country were female. The rabbit wishes for a motorcycle helmet.

The bear laughs at the rabbit's stupid wishes and wants all bears on the planet to be female. His wish as granted, the fairy asks the rabbit for his last wish.
The rabbit starts his motorbike, says "I wish that the bear was gay!" and drives away.

Category: Animals • 30 Oct 2017 • by saluli