A Mexican, a Russian and a Frenchman arrive in hell when the devil appears in front of them. He says that to get out of hell, they must each complete three tasks: make love to a woman 100 times, kill a bear, and drink 100 shots of tequila.
The Frenchman, being French, decides to start with making love to the woman 100 times. He starts out well, but after a few hours he is too exhausted to complete the task and is thrown into lava.
The Russian, being Russian, decides to kill the bear first. Almost as soon as he enters the arena he is mauled to death.
The Mexican, being Mexican, decides to drink the 100 shots of tequila first. After downing the last one, he stumbles off to kill the bear.
Several hours later, he returns to Satan and says: "So where is this woman I have to kill?"
A guy goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter asks the guy for the bravest act in his life. The guy tells him: "Well, I spotted a group of guys messing with a girl and I asked them to stop it. When they laughed at me, I picked the biggest one of them, pushed him to the ground and yelled at him to stop."
Saint Peter was visibly impressed. He asked: "Wow, when did you do that?"
The guy says: "About 2 minutes ago!"
A llama, a penguin and a donkey are captured by the king. Whoever doesn't manage to make him laugh is going to be shot.
The llama is first. It tells jokes for hours, but doesn't get the king to laugh. Thereupon it is shot.
The penguin is next. He also runs with telling jokes, but he doesn't succeed, thus he is shot.
The donkey is next. As soon as he starts telling, the king bursts out in laughter.
The donkey is confused: "I haven't even finished my joke yet!"
The king: "I just figured out the penguin's joke!"
While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.
Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.
A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded: "Please, Sir, may we please have our teacher back?"