A mafia boss finds out that his accounting clerk bilked him of 10 million dollars. The clerk is deaf, the original idea was that a deaf accounting clerk can't hear anything about mafia business and cannot testify. Because the mafia boss doesn't speak sign language, he brings along his advocate.
The boss asks where his 10 million dollars are. The advocate translates into sign languages and the clerk answers in sign language: "I don't know what you are talking about!"
So the advocate tells the boss that he said "I don't know what you are talking about".
The mafia boss is fed up and draws a 9mm handgun. The advocate signals: "He is going to kill you if you don't tell him."
The clerk signals back: "Ok, ok, the money is a brown suitcase buried in the backyard of my cousin Enzo in Naples!"
The boss asks what he said. The advocate answers: "He said you don't have the courage to shoot!"
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were trapped on an island. The nearest shore was 50 miles away. First, the redhead tried to reach the shore by swimming. After 15 miles, she was exhausted and drowned. The brunette swam 20 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, felt that she was getting tired and swam back.
A rich man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.
"I don't have any money for food!" the poor man replied.
"Oh ... please, come to my house!"
"But Sir, I have a wife and four children!"
"Bring them along!" the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once on the way, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for offering us a free meal!"
The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"
A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer stay in a hotel.
The engineer is awakened by a smell and gets up to check it. He finds a fire in the hallway, sees a nearby fire extinguisher and after extinguishing it, goes back to bed.
Later that night, the physicist gets up, again because of the smell of fire. He quickly gets up and sees the fire in the hallway. After calculating air pressure, flame temperature and humidity as well as distance to the fire and projected trajectory, he extinguishes the fire with the least amount of fluid.
Then the mathematician awakens, and finds that the embers of the fire are still burning. After giving much thought to the problem, he lights it up to an actual fire. Then he goes back to sleep, satisfied that the problem has been reduced to a previously solved one.