Such Quality! Wow!

such joke

Black Humor

Keen on black humor? Here you go!

The Rabbi will solve the problem

A man went to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening
and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked: "What's wrong?"
The man replied: "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asked "How can that be?"
The man then pleaded: "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me,
what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offered: "Tell you what. Let me talk to
her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man said yes and the Rabbi replied: "Take the poison."

Mafia boss wants his 10 million dollars back

A mafia boss finds out that his accounting clerk bilked him of 10 million dollars. The clerk is deaf, the original idea was that a deaf accounting clerk can't hear anything about mafia business and cannot testify. Because the mafia boss doesn't speak sign language, he brings along his advocate.
The boss asks where his 10 million dollars are. The advocate translates into sign languages and the clerk answers in sign language: "I don't know what you are talking about!"
So the advocate tells the boss that he said "I don't know what you are talking about".
The mafia boss is fed up and draws a 9mm handgun. The advocate signals: "He is going to kill you if you don't tell him."
The clerk signals back: "Ok, ok, the money is a brown suitcase buried in the backyard of my cousin Enzo in Naples!"
The boss asks what he said. The advocate answers: "He said you don't have the courage to shoot!"

Rich man in a limousine

A rich man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.
"I don't have any money for food!" the poor man replied.
"Oh ... please, come to my house!"
"But Sir, I have a wife and four children!"
"Bring them along!" the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once on the way, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for offering us a free meal!"
The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"