Such Quality! Wow!

such joke

Miscellaneous

Here you will find all jokes that don't really fit in other categories. Have fun!

Priest, Rabbi and Buddhist monk

A priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk were talking about how they paid themselves every week after the worshippers donated to the temple, church etc.
The Priest: "I have a good method. I draw a circle on the ground, step in the middle and throw all the donated money up on the air. With the grace of God whatever falls in the circle is my salary and outside belongs to the church."
The monk: "How interesting, I almost do the same thing. But I believe what falls within the circle belongs to the monastery and outside is mine."
The rabbi chimes in: "Oh my God, we all think alike. I do the same thing. I draw a circle, get in the middle of it and throw all the donations in the air. What stays up in the air belongs to the temple and what falls on the ground is mine!"

The gate between Heaven and Hell

The gate between Heaven and Hell was broken.
St. Peter said to the devil: "It's your turn to fix the gate."
The devil said: "Our heating furnace is broke down here, we ain't got time to mess with that gate!" St. Peter replied: "We have a contract and it's your turn to fix the gate! If you don't fix this gate, we're gonna take you to court and sue you for breach of contract."
The devil said: "Yeah? Where are you going to get a lawyer?"

Bush, Mandela and the pope

Bush, Mandela and the Pope are waiting at the Pearly Gates after they died. St. Peter says: "Depending on your achievements during your lives, you will each get a car. You will race against each other. The winner of the race goes to heaven!"
The pope gets a Ferrari, Mandela receives a Porsche and Bush gets a Golf. The pope and Mandela are as fair as to wait for bush after the first half of the distance.
When Bush still didn't show up after 2 hours, they drive back to look for him, and find him lying on the side of the street, rolling on the floor laughing. They asked him what was so funny.
Bush said: "I just saw Hitler on a tricycle!"

Unruly student

While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.
Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.
A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded: "Please, Sir, may we please have our teacher back?"