such joke

Kevin says to Jim, "You know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation, only this year I'm will do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice as to where to go. Two years ago you said to go to Hawaii, I went to Hawaii, and Maggie got pregnant. Then last year, you told me to go to the Bahamas, I went to the Bahamas, and Maggie got pregnant again!"
Jim says: "So what you gonna do different this year?"
Kevin says: "This year, I'm taking Maggie with me!"

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

On Valentine's Day, a TV channel conducts a survey on relationships.
The reporter asks a pedestrian: "What would you wish your wife or your girlfriend for the future?"
The pedestrian answers: "I wish they will never meet!"

A police officer in a small town stopped a speeding motorist.
"But, officer...", the man began, "...I can explain!"
"Just be quiet!" snapped the officer. "You're going to jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said: "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He will be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it!" answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom!"