Such Quality! Wow!

such joke

People and Relationships

People are weird, relationships are complicated. The best jokes from our category "People and Relationships"!

Two men meet in a bar

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why? Of course!" comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man, I graduated in '62. This is unbelievable!, the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender. "Nothing much...", replies the bartender, "...the twins are drunk again!"


So there was this slightly introverted high school student who had never asked a girl to a dance. It's his senior year and he feels that he should go to prom. So he musters up the courage and asks one of his friends. She says yes. Now he has to prepare for the dance.

The next day, he goes to buy his tickets, and there is a huge line. So he waits, and waits, and waits, then he finally gets the tickets.

The next day, he goes with his date to go get a dress. When they get to the store, there is a huge line going out the door. So the wait, they wait, and they wait. Finally, they get to the front and buy a dress.

After this, they go to men's warehouse to get him a suit for the dance, and there is a huge line going out the door. So they wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get in and buy a nice suit.

The next day, he remembers that he needs to order a corsage. So he goes to the local store and there is a huge line. So he waits, waits, and waits until he gets his order in.

Now it's the day before prom and he wakes up and realizes that he forgot to order a limo, so he calls up the limo rental place. All the lines are busy so he decides to go into the place. When he gets there, he sees the line stretching out the door and around the corner. So he waits, and waits, and waits, until finally he was lucky enough to get the very last limo.

So now it's the night of the dance and when they get to the prom, the school is doing mandatory drug testing, so there is a huge line getting into the prom. So the wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get to the front and they both pass their drug tests.

Now the dance was going pretty good for about a half an hour, until he really, really had to go to the bathroom. So he takes off to go, and he sees this huge line going out of the bathroom. He waits, waits, and waits until he finally takes care of his business.

When he comes out of the bathroom, he notices that a crowd has formed around his date. She had just randomly passed out. Someone says to him, "hey, you're her date, go get her some punch." So he goes over to the punch table and thank god, there is no punch line.

Son takes his father to the doctor

The son takes his father to the doctor. The doctor gives them the bad news that the father is dying of cancer.
The father tells the son that he has had a good long life and wants to stop at the bar on the way home to celebrate it.
While at the bar, the father sees several of his friends. He tells them that he is dying of AIDS. When the friends leave the son asks: "Dad, you are dying of cancer. Why did you tell them that you are dying of AIDS?"
The father replies: "I don't want them screwing your mother after I'm gone!"

Affair with an exterminator

A woman was having an affair with an exterminator. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband came home early. "Quick!" said the woman to her lover, "hide in the closet!" She bundled him in the closet stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after searching the bedroom, he discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked him. "Erm... I'm an exterminator!" said the exterminator.
"What are you doing in here?" the husband continued to ask. "I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths." the man replied.
"Why on earth aren't you wearing any clothes?" asked the husband. The exterminator looked down at himself and said, "Damnit! Those little bastards!"