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We have randomly selected some of our jokes for you! Have fun!

Police stops a speeding motorist

A police officer in a small town stopped a speeding motorist.
"But, officer...", the man began, "...I can explain!"
"Just be quiet!" snapped the officer. "You're going to jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said: "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He will be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it!" answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom!"

Three Russians on a train

Three Russians are sitting together in the train that takes them to the Gulag. One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."
Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"
"Well, I arrived at the factory on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."

Category: Nations • 26 Nov 2016 • by Anonymous

Jewish Immigrant

An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to immigrate to Israel. When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin.
Customs: "What is that?"
Old man: "What is that? What is that?! Don't say 'What is that?', say 'Who is that?' That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker's paradise!"
The official laughed and let the old man through.
The old man arrived at Tel Aviv airport, where an Israeli customs official found the bust of Lenin.
Customs: "What is that?"
Old man: "What is that? What is that?! Don't say 'What is that?', say 'Who is that?' That is Lenin! The sonofabitch! I will put him on display in my toilet for all the years he prevented an old man from coming home."
The official laughed and let him through.
When he arrived at his family's house in Jerusalem, his grandson saw him unpack the bust.
Grandson: "Who is that?"
Old man: "Who is that? Who is that?! Don't say 'Who is that?', say 'What is that?' That, my grandson, is eight pounds of gold!"

Category: Nations • 31 Jul 2016 • by Anonymous