A blind man was walking down the street with his dog. They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic. The dog, at this point, started pissing on the mans leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the dog. A passerby saw all the events happening and was shocked. He approached the blind man and asked how he could possibly reward the dog for such a nasty deed.
The blind man replied "Oh I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find his head so I can kick his fuckin' ass."
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were trapped on an island. The nearest shore was 50 miles away. First, the redhead tried to reach the shore by swimming. After 15 miles, she was exhausted and drowned. The brunette swam 20 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, felt that she was getting tired and swam back.
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to dye her hair and look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde picked one and got back into her car. Before she left, the farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"